lottery winnings

As I was trying to drift off to sleep last night, I started thinking about how my life might change were I to win the lottery. My brain often gets extra busy after I turn out the lights at night. I don't currently have any "live" tickets in my possession, but had been thinking about how vast amounts of sudden wealth has a tendency to change people.

Or does it?

Once the fantastic dreams of "what I'd do with $10 million" got tiresome, I realized that for the most part, winning the lottery wouldn't have a drastic impact on my lifestyle. Yes, I'd travel more, but that's something I love to do already -- and traveling in luxury frequently gets in the way of real fun, real adventure, and real connections with other people.

I'd make some changes in my home, mostly aesthetic (like paint) -- but again, this is already something I'm working on.

I'd probably eat even better and invest more time and money in maintaining my health. Again, this is something I'm working toward anyway.

There are some material things I'd buy -- I'd upgrade my laptop, and would probably buy an electric or hybrid car. I neither need nor want a big screen television, an ATV, a private jet, or a Hummer. I would, however, install a deeper bathtub.

Having extra amounts of cash lying around would allow me to be more generous with friend and family, and with charities that already hold my interest, but this would only be an increase over what I'm already trying to do. I'd like to buy each of my friends a new computer, and contribute to my parents' retirement funds and my nephew's college fund. Some charities and non-profits I'd love to do more for include Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, Witness, Habitat for Humanity, Just Vision, Defenders of Wildlife, and Heifer International.

I'd like to think that I'd worry less about financial security, though I hear that wealthier people have a tendency to be even more stressed about their finances.

There are dreams that could be fueled by a sudden influx of capital, certainly. I'd like to find a piece of land and build a cob-style yurt (with solar panels, worm composting boxes, and possibly composting toilets), and have a big area for the dogs to run outdoors.

But I'd definitely keep working. There's no way a hunk of money would stop me.

Winning the lottery doesn't mean winning more hours in the day, greater skills, deeper love, more intelligence, or better values and morals.

In other words, I believe I'd still be the same person. I hope I would be. Sure, I might encounter some hassles with people I don't know -- or people I think I know -- getting schmoozy with me while eyeing my wallet, and that would make me more wary, possibly more cynical. If I did hit the jackpot, I'd be unlikely to announce that here, or anywhere else. I'd be more of a target at first, but I tend to keep a low profile, so I imagine this would be relatively short-lived.

If not, I could retreat to my wind-powered yurt farm.

How would winning the lottery change your life?

birthday #37

Today is birthday number 37 for me.

Two days ago, I'd had a bad dream of having had a botched eye surgery, and while on massive pain killers was having to give my personal information (including my birth date) to an intake nurse. She didn't believe that all of this mess was happening on my birthday and figured I was too altered by the drugs to think clearly. I was glad to wake up the next morning.

Today, between spending a few lazy moments lying in bed, and while out walking the dog – just the one dog now – I made a decision that my gift to myself this birthday is the decision to no longer be afraid. I know my friends will laugh at the idea that I'm afraid of anything, and in truth I'm much less afraid in general than I have been previously in my life – but I'm still tired of letting any amount of needless fear or anxiety influence my decisions.

So I have composed the following affirmation for myself:

Each morning, I awake ready and willing to embrace my life.
I look each day squarely in the eye, take a deep breath, and say, "Yes!"

Another gift to myself today might be a trip over to SuperCuts. I hate getting my hair cut, and I've avoided it way too long. This long, thick mane of mine could use some attention.

By the way, I love my work. I've started freelancing again, and it's great to be paid to write and to meet new people and have new experiences. Yesterday, I headed out into the forests outside of Portland and spent some time with a fifth-generation forester who is dedicated to sustainability and helping to build local community business. The temperature was perfect, with a very light rain falling, and the setting was absolutely gorgeous. I also met a green builder who had come out to the forest to cut some trim pieces for a job he's working on in town. Then I climbed onto the back of an ATV and rode through the woods while the forester gave me a tour of his sustainable forest.

And I'm working on my third annual NaNoWriMo project – you can find my profile under "revjen." The November insanity continues....!