rejection

Rejection is a regular part of any freelancer’s working life. Often, rejection begins to feel like “situation normal.” You’ve worked and re-worked a pitch on a story you know is ground-breaking. You can feel it in your bones. You’ve studied your target markets and sent your query to a publication you’ve dreamed of writing for. Then you wait for the editor’s reply. And you wait. You follow-up with an e-mail message or phone call. You wait some more. Finally, the editor gets back to you — if you’re lucky — and declines your idea.

It’s difficult — sometimes impossible — not to take this kind of rejection personally. You can tell yourself that adversity is character building, but it’s still frustrating. I’ve been writing professionally, in one capacity or another, since the early 1990s, and I’m still learning about how not to take this lying down.

On the chance that it might be constructive, I’m sharing some of my strategies for dealing with rejection. These are mostly for rejections received from editors I’ve not worked with before. If you have your own to share, I’d love to hear/post them!

1. It was the idea that was rejected, not you. It may sound silly to point this out, and I do feel like an idiot when I feel a personal sting after I’ve had a query turned down. When you’ve put your heart and soul into something — even a story pitch — it’s easy to start personally identifying with it.

2. Consider the reason for the rejection (even if the editor doesn’t give you one). Was the idea not especially timely? Did the publication run a similar or related story in the past year? Was the idea simply not a good fit for that publication? Take a few minutes to look over your query to see if anything might be missing — even though you were sure it was perfect the first time.

3. On the heels of #2 above, send it out again. Tweak or re-work the query for another market, and get it back out the door pronto! Just because one editor (or more than one, as the case may be) didn’t buy the idea doesn’t mean it won’t be perfect for the next editor on your list. One thing is for certain, though: No one will ever buy your story pitch if they never hear about it.

4. Take a time out. For me, this can be anything from taking a hike with the dog or heading out to do some rock climbing, to sitting in meditation or relaxing with a good book. The point is to step away from the computer — and from the offending e-mail rejecting your story idea — and to take both a mental and physical break. When it’s time to come back, I usually find that I’m full of new story leads as well as ideas on how to salvage/rework the previously rejected one.

5. Acknowledge the rejection. Send the editor a quick reply letting him/her know you received the message. Keep it short and upbeat. I like to thank the editor for his/her time and indicate that I’m looking forward to submitting again and working with him/her in the future. You can even respond to the rejection with another query, if you’ve got another pitch that might be a good fit for that publication.

6. Vent. This is one option I admittedly don’t pursue all that often, but if you’re really angry or disappointed, find a friend — a fellow writer might be the most sympathetic — and feel free to indulge your woes for a few minutes. Just know it’s really not a good idea to do this publicly (particularly on the web) where your comments are visible to not only the editor in question but also to other editors you might want to work with.

7. Suck it up and get back to work. It’s important to keep moving forward — inertia is seemingly my worst enemy — and this is easily the strategy I employ the most frequently. Writing is all about sitting your butt in the chair — and keeping it there — and getting the work done. There is always more work to do, whether it’s making progress on a story already assigned to you, updating your professional website or starting in on the next query idea on your list. You can even spend some time organizing your office — anything that boosts your productivity.

So that’s my quick hit list of how I deal with the rejection that is a consistent part of any writer’s life. I also keep in mind a bit of sage advice that has bolstered me for taking a few chances I might otherwise have shied away from:

Don't worry about making a fool of yourself. Making a fool of yourself is absolutely essential.

— Gloria Steinem

How do you deal with rejection?